Doubt Dancing Back to Idaho with JSM

Yesterday I left Doubt, the raven, at home and went out for a stellar day on the Space Coast you can read about here. I left Doubt at home on purpose for three reasons: 1) He flirts with gulls. 2) He and the rocket scientist were double teaming me. And, 3) He’s learning to dance.

They are probably both right. The manuscript needs some work. It may need a massive rewrite.

I have too many characters as it is, IMHO, and the RS thinks I should add more. Doubt shakes his head, and then nods. I think he’s trying to tell me, “No, you don’t need more characters…what you need is to rewrite and separate these two crimes into two books so both can be developed better.”

Anyway, that is where I am today.

I have a plane ticket for Doubt. I couldn’t see putting him in a package in this heat, so he should be back in Idaho in a few hours. We are ten minutes from the airport. I am keeping a few feathers he lost when we went over the MS together…just as reminders.

Look out C.S. Boyack…here he comes! He’s learned some dance moves, too.

If you haven’t seen JustSomeMotion (JSM) dance, you are missing a real treat. Put this on the full screen and turn up the volume. I love this guy and have watched a hundred times. He reminds me of my son…ten years ago. I don’t know if my son, Bryan, could move like this today, but he used to. After they have been gone about ten years, you really miss them!

24 thoughts on “Doubt Dancing Back to Idaho with JSM

    • Greg scored me a 2 stars on it. He likes it, the story and Brandi, but feels the main character fell flat. I have some ideas about it, but I am thinking of getting two people to look at it before I do too much and see if they agree with what I am thinking. It’s all good! I’d rather put it out there at its best.

        • I am touching up some edits, and rounding out a bit of what I have, then I thought maybe I would get Ionia to take a look and tell me if what I think about it will work, or if I need to scrap it. Meanwhile, I’m dancin!

            • Greg says he should have friends…a life aside from the crime caper, but I think i have too many characters already. So I am thinking about trying to figure a way to separate the two stories…the murder case and the organized crime issue. It will be tough, because they are interconnected.

                • That’s how I intended. That he was a bit of a loner. But that’s hard to do in third person. Greg says it isn’t working, cause he seems to have no personality. I thought he had his own voice, but he is reserved. Greg doesn’t think that works with a caper. Too one-sided with Brandi’s personality. Greg thinks he needs friends/familiars, people and places where you can get to know him in his own element because everything he is confronted with is new. To me, the newness was part of the story. That he got his first “real” case. I am not going to do anything drastic to it. I am getting a couple more opinions, and then see how to move with it.

                  • Get more test readers. It could be a perspective think. It sounds like Greg wants a social character and you’re wanting this guy to be aloof. The only example I can think of with a loner detective is Bruce Willis’s character in ‘Sin City’. Though Stallone in ‘Demolition Man’ could work too.

  1. Great dance moves! Andrew never could dance like that and hasn’t been gone ten years, but I find myself missing him after a couple months. That book will come together for you. Just keep working on it!

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