As the World Churns


I’m emotionally churning today. It’s my husband’s birthday and my daughter is due to deliver my third grand baby any day. That’s a big hunk of happiness. So glad to have this man in my life. So proud of the mama my daughter has become.

Losing my dad really bites. There’s also some unanticipated fall-out associated with that, and I’m hoping it can strengthen bonds not rip them apart. So there’s that looming.

Recently I tried to find an old friend who was a Behavior Specialist in a psych hospital. We used to work together on the forensic unit and had an awesome relationship. I expected he would be a great resource for a psycho thriller I have in the works. When I googled his name, I pulled up his obituary. Ouch!

(My apologies if that comes across as selfish, but I’m resentful that his wife [whom he met after I left GA] was jealous, and wouldn’t allow us to maintain our friendship. Five hundred miles apart and a great professional relationship, but heaven help, I’m female.)

I have four writing projects in the works and all have been at a complete standstill for over a month. I don’t know where I’m going with any of them.

I’m reading a lot, but writing much of nothing.

I’ve been stopping by blogs when I can and reading, but my comments…I can hardly manage them. I end up whining like I am in this post. Bear with me. This, too, shall pass.

As for my own blog, this is about the best I can do today.

Not exactly exuding confidence.

Discouraged. Frustrated. Sad. Happy. Excited. Churning.

Did I mention y’all mean the world to me? Yep, it’s true. Being a homebody, my blogging buddies are the best friends in my world. So sorry to be tossing my personal problems at you.


I need a good laugh.

You want to laugh? Here’s something funny: I accidentally put Clorox on my husband’s jeans, so he got to go to work looking like a tie-dyed hippie today. I’m sure his associates at Lockheed-Martin will give him hell.


I’m  feeling as if I have fallen off the edge of the earth.  

46 thoughts on “As the World Churns

  1. Sorry that your at a writing standstill and have some stress. At least judging by the tag. Wish I had something to help you laugh, but I’m terrible at jokes. Though I don’t think anything can beat those jeans. Thought it was supposed to be a pair of white pants until I scrolled further down.

    1. Hahaha! You noticed that tag. That makes me laugh 😀 You’re good at jokes. Awesome one liners.
      I just spent a fortune on a suit for him to wear to my dad’s funeral, guess I gotta go to Costco and get him some jeans now.

    1. That’s a grand plan! Was really looking forward to collaborating with my old friend, Phillip Terry. We worked so good together. He would have made excellent contributions to my work, I’m sure.

  2. Sorry to hear you’re struggling so much. When it rains, it pours, it seems. Maybe that new grandbaby will give you some much needed sunshine when he or she arrives.

    But in the meantime, you might want to hold off washing any more jeans… (Sorry, I couldn’t resist. But hopefully it made you smile a bit.)

  3. Hang in there. Despite all the upheaval, it will eventually pass. In the meantime, I hope your husband enjoys his birthday and that all goes well with your daughter’s delivery. What’s the saying about one life passing and another arriving? Your dad will surely be smiling down when his great grandchild is born.

    As for writing, your muse will still be there waiting when you’re ready to rip through those stories! In the meantime, that’s a heck of a bleach job on your hubby’s jeans, LOL!

    1. Thanks Mae. My head is filled with stuff I want to get on paper, don’t really understand the block. This pic is off the net. Hubby’s jeans weren’t quite so pretty…sort of irregularly splotchy :/

  4. Try to keep the good thoughts front and center, Susan…the new grandchild and your husband’s birthday. Speaking of, I know the perfect gift you can give him…a new pair of jeans. That photo is hilarious! That looks like something I would do.
    Again, I’m so sorry about your father. I can’t even begin to image your pain. I’ll continue to keep you in my prayers.

      1. Isn’t that the way fads begin? 😮
        When I was about 15, I sewed a pair of pants in a tiny print of flowers. I’m not saying they began the trend but a couple years later, guess what?
        It’s like the wheel, I believe it was invented more than once, in different places. Nothing is new anymore. 😀

        1. True, Tess. When bell bottoms were popular, my dad wouldn’t let us buy them, so we cut the bottom of our jeans and sewed in panels of calico…before long, everybody was doing it.

  5. I don’t know if this counts in the cheer-me-up department, but it’s pretty typical of my life. My eldest daughter, the attorney, had just told us she’s expecting first child this fall. The very next day, my father in law called to say he wanted to talk about the grandchildren.

    Me [thinking we’re talking about babies in November]: Isn’t it great? We’re pretty excited.
    FIL [thinking we’re talking about daughter being the executor of his estate, which would of course only happen when he’s actually dead…] Not that excited.
    Me [disappointed] Well, we can’t wait!
    FIL: […]

    I hope you enjoy that grandbaby, that your husband enjoys the geek toy, and that somebody has a sixties-party soon so those jeans can be worn again. As for the rest of it… I know that even when you think you have it all handled, there are ugly pieces that can crawl up out of nowhere. I hope you can take the good parts into your heart and not leave any room for the ugly bits to hang around.

    1. Oh my! That is hilarious! Poor granddad. I think the jeans are going to be cut off as boating shorts. That’s the best idea I can come up with, and Craig has a good idea to just go boating 🙂 I’m always up for that. Thankfully, the ugly bits don’t directly involve me, but they do cast some heinous shadows across the countryside.

  6. Oh, hope all goes well and it is a wonderful birthday for your husband and an easy delivery for your daughter.
    Congratulations for the joys happening and continuing to add to your world. Smiles, Robin

  7. Those pants really are a good joke. I wish I could think of something good in return.

    I’m emotionally churning too at the moment. I just received a really nasty email from a woman who didn’t like my critique of a few pages of her work. It’s a small thing, I suppose, but for those of us who don’t like to fight, it was pretty upsetting. Anyway, both you and I will calm down soon and get back to writing.

    Best wishes to your daughter and the expected baby, and happy birthday to your husband.

  8. Oh, Susan. Sending you big hugs! I think you need a giant slice of that red velvet cake you love–but have someone else make it for you (just to be safe). 🙂 You should absolutely allow yourself to whine and wallow in grief. It takes time. I think that is why so many cultures have a one-year mourning period. In the meantime, I imagine the birth of your new grandbaby will bring you lots of joy, even if it’s tinged with sadness. But oh those jeans! They’re actually kind of cool. 🙂

    And your tag line made me laugh!

    1. Funny you bring up red velvet cake. Yesterday was my husband’s birthday and he wanted red velvet cake. Friday, I’m babysitting the granddaughter and we’re making him one!

  9. Congrats on the new grandbaby. We are also awaiting word on our second granddaughter. That alone is reason to smile. And those pants — absolutely hysterical! Actually, they look kind of cool, like they were professionally done. Perhaps you’ve just invented a side business. Keep smiling, Susan, even when you feel like crying. As you said, this too shall pass.

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