A week has passed since we returned from Sleuth Fest. The excitement is slowly ebbing away and I’ve begun to start all of the second guessing. Why do we do that?
Go confidently into your dreams!
Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know the “experts” tell us that we are supposed to exude confidence on our marketing platform, but this started out as a blog to socialize and get to know readers and writers, and you’ve learned, by now, that I’m about as candid as they come.
I’m trying my best to stay positive, but Doubt, the raven, keeps flying around overhead. (Thanks a lot Craig. Could you keep him in Idaho for a couple of months?)
It’s not that I have no faith, it’s that I’ve been living on faith for a couple of years now. My faith is much greater than my fear. And yet, I second guess myself.
I shouldn’t have repeated myself about my character’s dynamics. “I got that already,” the agent said. (ie. “Let’s not waste time here.”)
When asked about my experiences with the LGBT community. In my effort to avoid saying, “I have friends who are trans,” (You know, that’s like a white person saying, “I have friends who are black.”), I stumbled all over my experiences with the transsexuals I’ve known in hospital settings and their struggle with transition, both physical and psychological. I totally forgot to mention the joy we find at the Footlight Theater at the Parliament House. We have a large LGBTQ community here in Orlando and they are an integral part of my everyday life. I’ve heard their stories. We’ve laughed and cried together.
Stereotypes: There are so many negative connotations associated with that word. Why, oh why, did I mention stereotypes? You all know how I feel about stereotypes. I’ve written about them on this blog and in guest posts, and how we can use the hardwired images to introduce them, yet show how a person breaks out of the stereotype in our fiction writing, or by giving an antagonist a stereotypical thinking and showing how it contributes to his demise in the end. But did I really need to go there with an agent? Was what I was trying to say received clearly? IDK.
Okay, it was a short meeting, and he DID ask for the full manuscript, and I was thrilled.
I couldn’t decide whether to send the brief one page synopsis or the more detailed three page synopsis. I sent the detailed three page one to the agent who asked for the full manuscript, and both to the agent/editor who asked for partials. Have absolutely no idea why I did that. Probably should have sent the brief one to the one who asked for the whole manuscript, and the more detailed one to those who asked for partials.
And now I wait with the anticipation of a child at Christmas who has just been told, “There is no Santa Claus.”
We were told to expect anywhere from two weeks to three months to hear back from an agent, and yet, I find myself clicking send/receive a dozen times a day, just to see if, by chance, there is any word.
On the brighter side, in an effort to block my anxieties, I’ve thrown myself into reading. In as much as I’ve decided not to worry myself over Amazon’s review dropping, I’ll be posting some book reviews here in the near future. I’m reading both craft books and fiction.
Things are getting back to normal. There are a few diversions on my calendar; the grandbaby’s birthdays, a week-long trip to the Gulf Coast in April, another minor surgery (it sucks getting old), and I have a HUGE surprise to announce soon about something that will occur in August, if all goes well.
Have you ever second guessed yourself?
How did it turn out?