Today we have sunshine and temperatures are back in the mid-seventies, after a week of pouring rain and overcast skies. I know you people under snow and gray skies for months hate us. We really don’t have the tolerance that you do. We are weak and pitiful in ways you don’t relate to.
Last night we had dinner with some snowbird friends of ours, a couple from Nebraska. The lady tells me she read my book and liked it. She said it was sad and rather Gothic. I agreed with her that it is a poignant story, but ends on a very sweet note. She didn’t say anything. (I wonder if she read the final conclusion chapter.) There was a long, painful pause. Then she says, “At least you had the courage to put it out there.” I didn’t know quite how to take that….the “At Least…” part. Sort of gave me the idea that she felt it amateurish. I am probably reading more into it, because of my own personal insecurities. I still think I need to practice how to speak to people about my book…not selling it…not marketing the book, or encouraging others to read it, but how I respond to them when they share with me that they have read it. The lack of eye contact made me somewhat uncomfortable. Geez, was she just being nice?
She asked about reviews. Of course, I had to tell her about my four and five star reviews…I was defensive to a certain degree. She seemed a bit surprised at the good reviews. Said, “That’s interesting.” That made me feel worse, and I realized I should have stopped while I was ahead, sort of. “Not everybody is going to like what you write!” I reminded myself.
About my goals from last week, my excuse is the same for most of them. It was raining, so I didn’t want to go out. I didn’t get the oil changed in my car. I didn’t get out and peddle my books. I didn’t schedule my sensory deprivation chamber experience. We did not make it to the antique mall in Mt. Dora, but we did find a Spirograph for the granddaughter on Amazon. She has a birthday coming up in three weeks. Any suggestions?
I did, being a recluse in the house, manage to get quite a bit of writing done. I also went back over the last few chapters and moved some paragraphs around. I write in stream of consciousness style. Sometimes my mind wanders. That might be a bipolar thing, but as I read over what was written, I found paragraphs that needed to be rearranged for better sequential flow from childhood to teenage events. It reads fine now. I am quite satisfied with it. There is one thing that I am seeing again. It is going to start out a sad story, and there is really nothing to be done about that. That is how it is.
Brainstorming with the beautifully minded and warm-hearted spirit, Ionia Martin of Readful Things blog, I have a better sense of how this novel and its main character will evolve to achieve a sense of redemption and achievement on a most positive note. That is a good thing and will lead to a most satisfying ending. I was about to take my character on a journey that I really wasn’t happy with and now I feel stronger and much more pleased with the moral of the story. Healing through helping others heal is the pathway we are taking. Thank you, Ionia, for be who you are, and for having time for me in your outrageously busy and full life.
This week I will revisit last week’s goals and hopefully make some progress. I will also be writing, and writing, and writing. I am planning a Goodreads Giveaway that I will announce formally when the Goodreads people approve it.